Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
it hurts more in the daytime
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
