it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
