There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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