hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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