12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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