the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
