Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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