first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
