see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
