brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
