Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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