this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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