I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
