I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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