Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
