i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
