JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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