It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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