Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
you never un-have a 4some
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
