If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
