That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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