What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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