if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
