i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
