I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
