shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
