she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
