I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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