I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize