the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
