Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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