I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
