The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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