If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
