im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
