Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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