i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize