: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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