She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
