Me too!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You're like the curious george of whores
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
