At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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