chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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