You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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