Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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