if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
