My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
