i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
