are you still at the devil's house?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
