I cockslap morals
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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