So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm always down for nudity.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
