he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
they need to just BURY HIM!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
