at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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