I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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