once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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