Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
