I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
