You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize