There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
