Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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