we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
she told me i tasted like america
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
