I love black thongs
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
