I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
