God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
