I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Randomize
