Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
